Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Moments...

Today did not start out as a very good day. During the middle of one of the biggest tantrums I have ever seen from my older child, I placed my baby girl on the couch so I could get after Dallin. After I placed him in his high chair to lock him in so he would eat- I turned back around to get Allison and didn't see her on the couch. I found her on the floor, crying so hard that she wasn't breathing. I lost all sense of reality and started bawling the second I got to her. It scared me so bad... I can't even tell you. I was pacing back and forth, praying she was alright, while all three of us were crying. Luckily, everything was ok- she was just mostly scared.
I had two great friends come to comfort me and to check her over to make sure she was alright. One just happened to be on a walk and had a feeling to come check on me... The other threw all of her kids in the car the second I called and was here in just a few minutes. I really am blessed with such great friends here... Ones that are in tune to the spirit and so willing to be there at a drop in the hat! Thank you so much Ann and Chantelle.
After being quite emotional for a few minutes there... Chantelle took Dallin to the park for me and I had some time alone to think. There are days that are hard... Very hard... I always feel like I take one step forward and two steps back in my parenting... I really felt like a failure of a mother today...
But I know that no matter what. No matter what mistakes I make- I love my kiddos with all my heart. I want so much for them. Slowly I'm learning to be a better mom... And thankfully my children are patient with me. They are my world. I wouldn't trade my moments with them for anything!
Moments like these:

And these:

Moments where a piece of chalk makes a boy's day:

And seeing him and his socks like this after playing outside:

Moments of watching your kids grow and learn:

And become great friends:


I'm so glad the Lord trusted me with them.
I love my babies...

14 comments:

Valeri Crockett said...

I don't doubt for one second that you are the greatest mommy to these babies. I've had pretty hard moments too and what a huge blessing it is to have people around us too help comfort when needed. I loved all your moments at the end, truly precious. You shared some of your soul and it touched me, Thanks.
Val

Jessica said...

Awe man. I know those days all too well. I think the difference between a successful mom and a failure of one is, the successful mom learns and grows and loves. You have done that 100 fold. I think you're a fantastic mother with lots and lots of patience. And you're right...thank goodness for good friends. I'm so glad you had some there to help you AND that you asked for the help in the first place (another success!). I just wanted you to know that I think you're fabulous and that you're not alone! <3 Jess

Jer & Mick said...

don't be too hard on yourself!! Everything is fine. I had a bad day too yesterday and i know the feelings of frustration too! Glad everything was ok!
Your a great mommy!

Lindsey said...

You're a fabulous mommy!
I can only imagine myself as a mom in a while... calling you frequently... :)
By the way- I love the two pictures at the end of your post! I have such adorable niece/nephews! :D

Ann H said...

Days like these are so hard, I think I'm emotionally scarred forever from a few like that I had at your stage of the game.

But I watch you all the time and you're doing great. You're an excellent mom, a great wife, and a really good friend. This is what my mom told me when I used to call her bawling after a hard baby day:

"This, too, will pass."

"The only way out is through".

Doesn't help much, does it.
Love you Jen.

Bill and Emily Grant said...

First of all, your kids are so dang cute! Secondly, you are a great mom and your kids are lucky to have you! I am worried for when I have a moment like your "couch moment" with Amanda. So many moms have related stories like yours... it makes me worry, but also know that everyone makes mistakes, especially in parenting. :)

Your pictures are sooooo soooo cute! Those are the greatest moments ever!

Kristen said...

You poor thing. I hope that you have many better days. It seems to take a while to get over a hard one. I feel for you. Your baby is gorgeous and it looks like Dallin is having lots of fun, even though learning to be a big brother can be hard.

Ragan said...

When I first became a mom I thought that I would never let MY babies roll off the bed, but I think they all did at least once. And I know I cried and felt horrible when they did. At least Allison just rolled off the couch and not the bed! Things like this WILL happen, even to the greatest moms (which, from what I know of you, I think you are).

Emily said...

Jenna your kids are darling!!!

I got my jam containers at Walmart. They are freezer containers and I love them! They have a few different sizes too!

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